Things Go From Bad To Worse. 10-10

Last summer we had a huge pool party with all of our families and friends and announced that we were expecting our third baby. Everyone was extremely elated and couldn't await for his arrival.
When we went to find out the sex of the baby, the doctors began explaining to us that our baby had no kidneys and no lungs. He would not survive outside the womb and that it would be safer to deliver him sooner rather than later. To say we were crushed and heartbroken would be a great understatement.
I have a huge extended family of which I am extremely close and they were all there in the room with us when our sweet little baby boy was born. I was such a proud momma and wanted everyone to hold him. He truly was a child of God. However, we knew after much prayer and fasting that his mission in life was not an earthly one but a heavenly one.
The next day, however, I collapsed and was life-flighted to one of the largest hospitals in the state. I had two clots in my lungs and was bleeding internally. I then flat lined for 90 minutes and the doctors ran out into the ICU waiting room where my husband and a whole multitude of our family members were gathered around waiting for me to come out of surgery. The doctors told them " The odds are against her and she is probably not going to make it, so if you believe in prayer, now is the time". As they all gathered in a tiny room that could not contain all of them they began to pray as if they were at the altar pleading for my life.
The doctors did open heart surgery and extracted two enormous clots from my lungs. They put me on the heart and lung machine and life support, but I continued to crash. The doctors came out again and said that in order to have any chance at saving her life they would have to do an emergency hysterectomy.
This was hard for some of my family members to hear, because before I went into the hopital I had many priesthood blessings stating that my unborn children were waiting to come to me. With no hesitation my husband agreed and the procedure was done.
I spent four days on the heart and lung machine, five days on life support and fourteen days in the ICU, but miraculously walked out of the hospital and returned to live with my husband and two children. I have spent many months healing and recovering from the surgeries and pain. However, the pain of losing our baby and not being able to bare children is still something that I feel everyday but I have come to to realize that God's design for me is far greater than my own.
Even though I am unable to naturally bare children, I still know that our family is not done growing. As I mentioned before, I received many priesthood blessings stating that my unborn children were surrounding me as I was in so much pain losing our baby.
While in the hospital the only one that could give me comfort was my oldest sister. She was adopted but never have I ever felt any less of a connection because of this. When leaving the hospital my sister was my saving grace as she took us into her home for three months, cooking, cleaning, taking care of my two children as well as four of her own. She would cater to my every need and never once did she complain or ask for something in return.
I know that my life has been eternally blessed by the miracle of a selfless birth mother who wanted to give my sister more than she could give. I am forever indebted to her because of this.